drafts

clutching 

the sweat of your 

hair as the child in you becomes 

the adult ... our bodies cutting into the bread ... 

when you open me up and I feel all milky ...

liquidated ... emotionally bankrupt ... 

was that worth giving up my soul ... 

to put my soul in yours so the 

lines blur ... like swirling

paint ... an emotional 

palette ... of slower

rhythms an upbeat

alien tongue slur 

14.20, 29.07.12. © Lizarikk/ 18.03


*********


I can feel 
something like 
a bud nudging its way 
out of the stalk or the root
tunnelling up through the earth ...


a proboscis going down through 
the flower probing like a slam weed the 
snails shell has cracked making a terrible mess 




29.07.12. , 20.50, © Lizarikk/ 22.28
*********

you've ruined my life with your passionate poetry 

... suppose you think its funny to make me
so angry that I blow up ... to cure
my hysteria ? 


I don't see why a 
psychiatrist needs to put 
my feet in stirrups says he can 
tell things about my personality 
and is taking a reading with his hands 




21.37, 29.07.12. © Lizarikk 3.10am , 30.07.12. , 8.57am
30.07.12. , 20.40


*************

will there be anything left? cancelled out
obliterated. Just a little stump of
emotion where my soul was
waiting for a train facing
a trek across siberia
to get it back will
you spare me
that piece?

or should I
write my will? nurse
my radiation burns in the
aftermath run like a chargrilled
child from the torched unrecognisable
landscape of my life? you said bye I die
youre going to wipe me out are you darling?


27.07.12.    17.04    © Lizarikk

**************
just so dazzling sifting memories
shattered in the wobbling 
echo ... 


I  got the 

sweat from your

hand by osmosis ... 

Im supposed to squeeze 

you you horrible monster ... 

King of the dinosaurs you ... ouch ... 

let me take your heart out like a dove as we 

press the forgotten music between our 

skin ... like dough under your 

fingers swelling ....


mind is
broken just at 
the thought of you ... 

18.45   24.07.12. © Lizarikk/ 20.41


*************

I want to feel your emotion spilling out … that is not 
afraid to come unstuck …rubbing dough into 
the wood there seems to be more of 
it … to find secret doors 

where I forgotten where I was

… that  clings to me like the sweat 

of a drowning child … where we struggle 

not to hit each other as the temperature rises … 

and if we're a bit histrionic take it as it comes … I 

wanna feel those doors open under my hands as I push 

them … I want someone thats going to open out underneath 

me like a butterfly orchid that cries with pain at his wounding ...

19.23  25.07.12. © Lizarikk

************************
19.16, 30.07.12. 

A jill (female ferret) is more typically used in a hunt than a hob (male ferret), as the hob is more likely to "lay up" (killing and eating a rabbit in the burrow, resulting in the hob falling asleep) due to it being stronger than the jill.  

Some hunters now rely on firearms to take the prey, rather than laying down nets. Three or four hunters with shotguns will attempt to shoot the rabbit as it bolts from the burrow while being chased by the ferret. A method used to determine when the rabbit is preparing to bolt is to listen for thumping sounds coming from the burrow

 They are great and very entertaining, but they love to burrow, and have decided that my sofa in my living room is the best place. I put wire mesh on the bottom to stop them, but they then decided to go in from the top. They have totally destroyed the sofa corner. 


You can also offer them a sand box to dig and burrow in, which allows an appropriate outlet of this natural behavior. Keep the sand damp to help them make tunnels.

Ferrets are affectionate, intelligent mustelids that love to play and explore. They are known for their happy, inquisitive nature and humorous behavior. Ferrets have scent glands that produce a musky smell. They are intelligent, playful, and mischievous; love to collect and hide household items; love to dig, so be conscious of house plants. Some ferrets may communicate by making entertaining noises or by using body language Nipping is a natural behavior to get attention or show defensiveness when awakened

****************

I could feel

my fingers laced in

your warm hand stroking 
your palm like coconuts ... you pull 

me up into your knees ... what is that a 

ferret looking for the burrow to catch a rabbit 

30.07.12. , 19.25© Lizarikk
*********


I can 
feel the ferrets
little hands stumbling along 
the wall where it can't see ... using its 
paws and nose its digging through the gravel ... 




21.48, 30.07.12.  © Lizarikk
********************


13.06, 31.07.12. © Lizarikk, 1.08.12. , 13.24


I fucked up again 
and am thinking about 
death ... just sayin ... I can't even 
tell if you're calling me or not and its 
painful to come to you a keret knife in there .... 


**************


I had to
watch them hack up 
his body one piece at a time 
where I was decapitated ... and its
not always possible to be reasonable ... 


and now that you're dead ... I was like 
this when my mum dies like just
not showing any feeling 
at all ... 


he's dead he's dead




4.18am , 4.08.12.    © Lizarikk 15.50, 20.17